I have a new best friend. His name is Blue Carpet, and today he arranged for me to only have six entries to find words for! And it even came with an added bonus of not having to guess whether any of those six will qualify for the final. Although, being the masochist that I am, this immediately felt like I haven’t tortured myself enough today so I proceeded to try and figure out my qualifiers anyway. I would say it at least seemed like a good idea at the time, but I’d be lying. I knew it would end badly and I did it anyway, possibly as a warm-up for watching semi 2 in full. But I said no more talk about semi 2, and today was all about the direct finalists anyway. So let’s start with them.

By the way, they all drew their final half allocation today – but still no running order or anything, so this particular review is just in the order of the official YouTube uploads.

Portugal
After showing up in their pajamas for the first rehearsals, the Portugirls have upgraded to those clothes you randomly pull out of your closet just so you can run to take the trash out for two minutes. Which basically means we didn’t get to see how their costumes look on camera. Not that it mattered because the majority of the clip was spent in long shots of a dark stage.

It’s hard to tell without knowing what the songs around them will be, but for the little it’s worth, it does seem that this particular direction of staging takes some inspiration from last year’s winner, just in the way in which it attempts to shut everything around it off for three minutes and create a bubble in which the song is performed, almost in a world of its own. It’s the type of thing that can either easily get lost or work very well, and with the loud support it will get in the hall before and after the song, in complete contrast to the three minutes of the song itself, this should at least help it to not get entirely lost in the crowd.

Diamond of night, burning so bright (Eurovision.tv / Thomas Hanses)

United Kingdom
If I thought it was possible that the tunnel of halogen bars had a specific purpose, I was wrong. It’s there as a decoration accent. A vase, Eurovision-style. It doesn’t serve any practical need, nor does it at least give SuRie something to play with. It’s clean and is not in any way tasteless, so at least that’s a giant improvement on pretty much everything else the United Kingdom has sent in the last two decades, for a start.

SuRie is still the strongest part of this entry, although I think I like the song a lot more than most other fans whose opinion I’ve encountered. We shall see what Europe thinks of it, although I have a slight suspicion it will work better east of Italy.

I’d say that me just closing my eyes for a second after watching the clip and then accidentally falling asleep is a bad sign for the UK – and it might well be, but at this point the only clear thing it suggests to me is that maybe I should try and go to sleep early today. It’s going to be a very long week, especially with the whole time zone thing, and I should try to not start it already suffering from significant sleep deprivation.

Run away to the stars (Eurovision.tv / Thomas Hanses)

Spain
Not helping with the sleep crisis here, world. I actually tried to start writing about this seventeen times in the last hour and every time I kept finding something else that just needed to be done at that very moment. My opinion changes every time I watch it – not about the song, you understand, that’s still 180 seconds of unprocessed sugar – as I just can’t decide whether this will work well or not work at all.

The stage feels too empty, but there’s some great use of lights and camerawork. I might not be a huge fan of Alfred, and I’m definitely not a huge fan of anything either of them have worn so far, but the overall romantic mood of this feels natural and effortless, which is not always the case at ESC, even with real-life couples. I still find the song fairly weak as a whole, but it is structured well and peaks in just the right places to be effective.

It’s going to be one of those songs that, if you came to visit me from two weeks into the future and told me it finished basically anywhere between 3rd and last, I’d believe you. I wouldn’t necessarily be happy about it, depending on which end of the scale you told me, but I’d believe you all the same.

Believe in me (Eurovision.tv / Anders Putting)

France
Speaking of songs I don’t know what to do with. While “Mercy” is easily one of my absolute favorites this year, I see many people considering it a possible winner and wonder whether it’s the usual wishful thinking when it comes to France.

I adore Madame Monsieur, both as musicians and people, but every time I watch them perform I really struggle to see much presence or on-screen charisma that goes beyond my own natural instinct of liking them. The black clothes are still a bad idea, and the second rehearsal video didn’t help me become more convinced of its chances. It’s supposed to be the peak of the song, as the crowd gets involved in it – and it has always been the most argued about moment, with many finding the hand gestures utterly ridiculous. From the camera work it looks like the French have found some sort of compromise: They’ll do the gesture, but they will also do their best to not show it. The cameras pan out to show a wide shot of the audience, which in theory is a logical step except it never really shows the two of them setting everything in motion, and just pans away first to some low angles where they are not at all visible, and then wide shots that are from so far away you still can’t see them, especially with the black clothes.

Involving audience is always tricky, although when it works it can be magical – and sometimes it’s not even entirely intended (just ask Portugal last year). The crowd can add a lot, but when you show the crowd, you don’t show the artist, so you have to be careful about it and make sure the audience cuts are very well thought out and inserted in exactly the right moments. Getting to witness the interaction between the artists and the crowd as a part of a narrative flow works much better than just showing the audience being into the song and assuming the viewers at home will get it.

I did, however, read that the French HoD was very unhappy about the rehearsal, claiming that several requests they have made regarding lights and camera angles weren’t addressed, so one can only hope that they are aware of what doesn’t work and that between them and the production it will be worked out by Saturday night.

That sounds good to me (Eurovision.tv / Thomas Hanses)

Italy
It’s easy to make fun of the attempt to literally spell the song out to people with a multilingual lyric live video, but then Germany is the next rehearsal and this looks quite mild in comparison, especially taking into consideration that there’s only one line in each language, so depending on how many languages you actually speak, that’s as far as far as it will take you in figuring out what the song is about.

What I do find the most impressive about this, though, is that it signals a major shift in the Italian approach to staging. Gone are the days of giving their artists some kind of nice background, and perhaps some props or a gorilla, and sending them to stand on stage and do their thing and que sera, sera. This entry brought with it a plan. As in a real plan, which requires careful preparation and attention to every detail, because the only way for the text to appear in different sizes, placements and angles while Ermal and Fabrizio walk around the stage is for every camera shot to be exactly right.

It might be my inner graphic designer and it is definitely the fact that this is my personal favorite this year, but I do think there’s something immensely effective about a performance that is dynamic and clearly structured. With only two of them on stage, the lyrics make sure they never look quite as lost on it, and the constant change in the way the words appear to match them makes everything they do on stage feel like it has a purpose.

It might still be hard for people to get this or like this as a song, but – especially considering how hard this song is to stage – it actually might be one of the most complete and put together visual packages the Italians have managed since their return. Progress is good.

What if we chose to bury our guns? (Eurovision.tv / Anders Putting)

Germany
On the topic of progress, Germany really is trying. They have brought a story that is important for them to tell as is, and the staging definitely fits the concept. There is no going halfway for them, and regardless of my own personal feelings about “You Let Me Walk Alone” as a song, it is commendable. Too often delegations are scared to commit to something all the way because they fear it will be too much or too over-the-top. In this particular case, the background is a visual representation of what the song is already, so you might as well see it through.

The song is unfortunately still this song, and I already wrote that my own opinion of it does not reflect my prediction for its chances – I know full well that there are plenty of overly cheesy and sugary entries that have hit their mark with their audience.

I do think Michael is by far the weakest link of this, though, despite a very good vocal performance. He is not very engaging or expressive, and it’s very easy to forget he’s even there. I suppose that’s exactly why he has that kind of staging, though. It might not be on the same creativity and novelty level of the Ukrainian sand woman a few years back, but similarly it uses a staging trick that distracts from the main performer to tell the story of the song, which is very effective. Estonia’s dress projection designers might want to take a few notes.

With that, I think I have exhausted my capacity of being nice about this entry – and thankfully it’s also the last one for this particular review, so I am spared the experience of being relieved for a second only to realize Malta is up next.

Coming up: Dress rehearsals, a semi preview and the need to eventually come up with a prediction before the semi actually takes place. Wish me luck. Wish us all luck.