And that, dear friends, completes our journey through the second semi-final! Are you any closer to knowing who the ten qualifiers will be? I’m not entirely sure I am, but we’re getting there, slowly but surely.

And by early afternoon tomorrow we will definitely have seen the winner of ESC 2015 on the Stadthalle stage, as Sunday morning is when the “big 5 plus Austria plus Australia” (let’s just call them the “big 7” for convenience’s sake, shall we?) have their first rehearsals. We will, of course, be right here on the spot to tell you all about how they’re looking and sounding. In the meantime: some actual sleep and rest, I think! See you tomorrow…

POLAND
Beyond the fridge, let’s build a bridge…

I’ve been saving it until the end of my mini-posts so far, but I’m going to start with my verdict this time: I think this is qualifying.

It’s not just the back story, although that is staged effectively – people who are cynical about such matters would be cynical no matter how the Poles decided to present it, while for viewers who are more open to an uplifting story, this one isn’t anywhere near as excessive and exaggerated as it could be.

It helps that the general vibe of the performance is a “friendly” one, with Monika just sitting and performing the song nicely rather than making any attempt to show how she’s bravely overcoming the challenges facing her. Let the performance be appropriate for the actual song, and throw in the extra stuff at the edges – far more appropriate than e.g. turning Corinna May into a dancing circus act.

I’m still not entirely convinced by the long notes in the chorus, and the margins for qualification in this semi-final are so narrow that it really could come down to whether she nails them on Monday and Tuesday night – but if she does, I’m confident in saying that Poland will make a repeat appearance on Saturday night.

Is it qualifying? You’re clearly not paying attention, are you? I can’t say I blame you, it’s been a long day.

SLOVENIA
OK, they clearly agreed that Thursday’s rehearsals looked a bit static and empty, because the camerawork here is already much better. Raay is engaged from the start, and his finger-clicking is filmed from the side so you can see he definitely isn’t wanking a horse, while there are some excellent wavy shots of Marjetka to give the whole thing a bit more movement and dynamism.

Otherwise it’s “as you were” in terms of the warm retro colour baths and the general styling och consulting, but these are performers who have a distinct vision of what it is they’re aiming to achieve, so it’d be weird for them to suddenly wimp out at this late stage.

So while we’re here and we don’t really have anything much to say about the Slovenes, let’s do some more self-publicising. You like national finals, don’t you? Of course you do. So help us find the best song from the 2015 national final season in our SongHunt competition!

And now back to the second and third run-throughs of Slovenia. Still a few weirdly static cuts to Raay while he’s just leaning over his piano, as if they feel the need to repeatedly stress that this is a duo, not a solo singer called Maraaya.

Is it qualifying? Yes. The vultures weren’t exactly circling for Slovenia after the first rehearsals, but there was a distinct feeling that they needed to improve a little to risk falling into “potential fanfave failure” territory. They have improved. All is well.

CYPRUS
Even the good songs in this semi-final have a kind of minor-key vibe going on, so that might be why the busker’s simplicity of the Cypriot composition comes as such a relief, even if they’ve overladen it with strings and other fripperies.

They’re still trying a few tweaks to the colours of the twinkly lights in the background. They’ll pick one of the options in the end, and it won’t be any better or worse than what they rejected, but hey, as long as it makes them happy.

There’s definitely something artificial and calculated about the effect this song is trying to create, but this is the Eurovision Song Contest, not the Authenticity Olympics. At this point in the draw, and with John being the low-key charmer that he is, Cyprus are putting themselves in the best possible position here. And yet…

Is it a qualifier? …It ought to be, really. It’s not Lisa Andreas, but ESC has moved on since those days anyway. This straddles the divide between intimate and accessible quite nicely, and while it’s not quite Tom Dice, it’s not James Fox either – so I think it’ll get enough cross-party support to succeed.

SWITZERLAND
I do sometimes wonder why countries insist on doing four run-throughs in their allotted 20 minutes when everything is basically already as good as it’s going to get. Gold nugget or turd, there’s only so much you can polish a song.

There are some slightly more dynamic shots of the drummers in the Swiss entry now, which is about the only difference I can spot, though they could have changed the whole damn thing and I probably wouldn’t notice. There’s final-chorus pyro – wait, no, it’s not pyro, it’s that “puff of steam that’s really loud and drowns out the actual song” stuff. You can write your own jokes.

The backing vocals on the “learned to let it go” section are still pretty lame, but they appear to have been turned down in the mix a bit since Thursday, which is an entirely sensible development. Other than that, Mélanie turns in a performance that manages to be both attractive and dull, like a very nicely patterned carpet.

Is it qualifying? If Newcastle United escape relegation this year, it’ll only be due to the uselessness of the other teams around them. See also Switzerland and ESC 2015.

SWEDEN
We keep dancing with the demons, you could be an Alcastar *clap cla-clap clap clap*

This is tough, because I know lots of people want to know what’s going on with Sweden, it’s probably one of the things that brings us the most hits, and all I can say to them right now is… there’s nothing much new to report.

We have just heard a lovely singalong with the “woah-oh-oh-oh” sections from one of the interview cabins, though. We reckon it must be the Israelis.

Anyway, to squeeze an escgo! plug in there (just for a change), for a man who ended his performance at last night’s Nordic Party with the words “see you at the bar”, Måns is looking and sounding as fresh as a daisy. Albeit a daisy that’s been wearing the same shirt since his Melodifestivalen semi-final, so possibly not all that fresh.

Has anything actually changed since Thursday? Let’s watch the second run-through more closely and see.

…nope.

Is it qualifying? If you think it isn’t, I’ll see you on Betfair.

ICELAND
Not only did I miss all but the final run-through of Iceland, but our view of the television screens for that was blocked by some Spanish fans with remarkably big heads and remarkably little awareness of their occupying of actual physical space.

What I did get to see, though, was a significantly improved version of Maria’s presentation of “Unbroken”. What came across as clunky and unnatural on Thursday seemed, at least in isolation and without having seen today’s intermediate steps, like something far closer to the “finished product”.

She starts with her back to the audience, which will be a great shot, and while some of the Selma-choreographed moves in the meantime are still a bit strange (coming from Selma? Surely not!), there are some nice camera shots that add a bit of uniqueness, personality and quirk to an otherwise fairly conventional song. It’s needed, and they’re starting to get it right.

Is it qualifying? I keep wavering on this one. It’s Iceland, so of course it should get The Icelandic Result, meaning the answer would be “yes”. Then I think, hang on, it’s a squeaky, chipmunk-faced girl whining her way through a song with no discernible merit, why would it qualify? Then I realise they’re presenting it really well and it’s Iceland so let’s just accept that it’s in the final and be done with it.

Introduction
Well, that was a longer and more chaotic mid-afternoon break than anticipated – a quick “oh shit, the supermarkets close at 6pm and don’t open again until Monday” trip out to the nearest Billa (“nearest”, ahahaha, there are about 18 within a stone’s throw) followed by a scoot back to the apartment turned out to be conflicted by being witness to a car accident at the tram stop. Nothing serious, thankfully, but enough to hold up proceedings slightly! All part and parcel of being a faux-journalist…

Anyway, let’s get stuck into the back end of semi 2, so to speak! Iceland, Sweden, Switzerland, Cyprus, Slovenia and Poland await. Bring it on!