Last night saw the official opening night of EuroClub in Düsseldorf Old Town, although there were few signs of ESC festivities just yet – the only artist I spotted was a slightly bemused-looking Axel aka Paradise Oskar trying to sway in time with “Boom Boom”. It’s an impressive building, though, and one that’s sure to become an awful lot busier, sweatier and boozier as the week progresses, not least when it plays host to the Georgian party. At their press conference yesterday, the head of delegation even went so far as to expressly inform us that there would be plenty of Georgian wine because she knows how much we like it. A woman after my own heart (or liver).

But enough of such pleasantries – let’s get to the serious business of the second day’s rehearsals at the Esprit Arena!

GREECE
Greek pillars at the back, Greek pillocks at the front. The dancers are about as coordinated as Jedward and the rap section remains less authentic than “Do The Bartman”, but Loukas is singing a whole lot better than he did at the national final and he holds it all together with a decent degree of smouldering intensity. The main change (other than the merciful absence of a ping-pong table) is the Greece 1996-style dancer who minces on during the final minute – maybe his is the dance we’re all supposed to be watching – and, for all it’s a bit ridiculous, it does kind of work. So it’s just a question of whether a dark, difficult but not uninteresting song in 9/8 time (with a rubbish first half) can make it out of the semi 1 bloodbath. It probably will – it’s Greece, after all.

AZERBAIJAN

It’s Azerbaijan, so the carefully choreographed routine comes as no surprise, and it works very nicely with its slow and steady movements. The slightly dodgy vocals are no surprise either – Safura basically got it together by the night last year, and these two should as well, although harmonising falsetto-ish voices is always a risk (and I’ve yet to hear a convincing “scared” in any of the choruses so far). The backdrop is surprisingly minimalistic – plain white LED screens quite a bit of the time, with light-coloured “rain” on a black background at other times. It occasionally allows for a rather effective silhouette effect, and I wonder if they’re effectively trying to style this as more of a stadium anthem than an intimate love ballad. Not really what I expected at all, but I think it basically works. As a couple, of course, they still have the least convincing chemistry since… well, since last year’s Danish entry. But there’s no reason this shouldn’t get a similar result.

LITHUANIA

You know what? This is working really well. Really well. And if the highly-ranked likes of Hungary do fall through the gaps, there’s room for something like this to qualify. My two reservations are that she’s not the most likeable of singers, and more crucially, she does some peculiar and (at the moment) poorly-filmed pseudo-sign language during the second verse. Well, and I still have a serious issue with the French lyrics. And the song in the first place. But that’s nothing new! And I do acknowledge this kind of thing has a voting audience. Moreover, the stage setting is beautiful – dark colours, a starry sky, just a pianist and the singer – it’s about as elegant as it’s possible to get in a 50,000-seater arena. And it’s perfectly positioned in the draw. Logically the package should be a bit too rubbish to make it, but if “Butterflies” could get through from here last year…

PORTUGAL

There’s barely much point in blogging this one, as it’s pretty much exactly as we saw in the national final – all six of them in a row (albeit with a different lady in the line-up – see, it’s not just the Georgians!), one chap with a guitar, one with a loudhailer, and the rest of them brandishing signs. EXCEPT! The signs are all in different languages, and they’re double-sided too. AND! They’ve cunningly included only the languages of the countries in the first semi-final. Well, most of them anyway (Georgian and Armenian were presumably too difficult, what with all that swirly writing). Other than that, though, it’s business as usual and it’s just a matter of waiting to see if what they’re trying – whether you wish to call it a joke, a novelty, a political message or whatever else – strikes a chord with the non-Portuguese audience.

HUNGARY

The “fan fave fail” warning signs are flashing something rotten for this one, but it’s by no means a done deal just yet. Let’s call it a game of ifs and buts. Kati is older than she wants to be, BUT she quite rightly just stands there and sings it rather than trying to dance or anything. Her high notes are variable at best – some of the falsetto is shrill, some of the belty notes decidedly shouty – BUT her problem points seem to be different each time, which suggests that she might not be giving her all and could yet pull out a consistently good vocal performance. The dancers are more distracting than effective, BUT one of them does help out with the “gospel” end section, giving it a bit more oomph than would otherwise be the case. And the structure of the 3-minute version is as baffling as ever, BUT you can’t ignore the fundamental strength of the chorus. So I’m not calling this a definite non-qualifier just yet – but I’m certainly having a few quid on it missing out.

ICELAND

I had this down as a borderline qualifier before the previews. Now I’m not so sure. The stage setting is nice from afar, with warm-coloured cogs turning slowly like the wheels of time, though it doesn’t work quite as well in close-up. I’m just a little concerned that the band look lost on the big stage – there’s none of the intimacy of the Icelandic final performance (which, incidentally, they haven’t changed – it’s still waistcoats and Real Instruments), the lighting isn’t great at the minute, and the “LOVE IS YOU” message plastered on the bass drum seems a bit incongruous. See, these are all fairly minor things really, or at least things that are difficult to describe in detail but let’s just say it doesn’t quite feel right just yet. Get it together and I can still see it sneaking through, though.

CROATIA

Hard to know where to even begin here. Let’s be generous and remember that this is a “work in progress” and they’re clearly trying out a lot of things. What we do know is that Daria appears to be doing not one but two Croatian Strips, one of them inside a lift-up screen for which she is a little on the tall side; she’s pursued at various points by a “DJ” who looks like a lank-haired mish-mash of Ville Valo, Justin Hawkins and the guy from Belarus 2004; the DJ throws glitter out of a top hat at the end of the song; and she’s the first performer to use the catwalk this year, although they seem unsure as to whether to take her all the way to the podium or not. We’ll see what happens in the second batch of rehearsals. Daria is singing perfectly well, anyway, but right now there seems to be a strong risk of this being a confused mixture of visual styles with no coherent core vision, and that’s usually fatal at ESC.

SAN MARINO

Very pretty stage for this one, and that’s not meant as a Wogan-style backhanded compliment! Lots of warm purple lighting and dry ice throughout, which fits the song nicely. Senit is wearing something that looks like a hybrid schoolgirl/secretary outfit with big boots, though that might just be her everyday gear for all I know. She’s backed by two guitarists (with whom she indulges in a bit of ill-advised Status Quo interaction towards the end – this ain’t a rock song) and three backing vocalists. You’d have to say the whole thing is very competent, it’s just a little unspectacular too, and Senit will need to start finding some cameras and coming across a bit warmer on camera if this is going to go anywhere results-wise.

MALTA

Technical problems to start the day – the video feed to the arena was deader than Osama bin Laden (though unlike his head, it’s fixed now), so I nipped over to the arena to watch this one. Glen is all enthusiasm as ever, backed by two dancers in black vests bearing the slogan “ONE LIFE MALTA” and three Nadine Bailer lookalikes on podiums belting out the backing vocals. You’d still struggle to see this one finishing anywhere other than last in this strong semi-final, unfortunately, but they do have the Albanian jury and the UK televote on their side…