Welcome to the live blog of the Jury Final! This post will be updated every few minutes, so make sure to refresh for updates!

Fake voting sequence concludes with the Israeli fake vote which they use to test what to do in a case of a connection / voting table failure. This is followed by everyone basically blabbering through their lines because at this point no one gives a damn.

They are now facing the joy of trying to get through the televote segment, and I actually feel bad for the hosts having to deal with the new system for the first time because my God, this is too confusing.

It’s been a long night so it’s no wonder it took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out what I did to make the page not update, and I do web development for a living. While I was being an idiot, we got no mention of Madonna and instead skipped right into the fake voting segment in which everyone awkwardly talk to one another to make sure the connections with all the spokespeople work.

Netta’s new single isn’t really my thing – and I’m not entirely sure why we need both this and Madonna when it’s not really great and we’ve seen Netta many times, and we’re almost 3 hours into the show (and before Madonna) so how they think they can fit this into the time slot, I don’t know. I do wonder what process host broadcaster and EBU have in place for the show itself, because you’d think the EBU will have to clear that (as Madonna’s performance and broadcasting rights was coordinated with EBU).

The Mentalist returns to fill in during another ad break. I wish we had an ad break too.

The next interval act is one of Israel’s most famous musicians, Idan Reichel, performing a new version of his first breakthrough hit, Bo’i (come) with a group of musicians representing the musical culture of many ethnic groups in Israel. On a personal level, it’s a song that means a lot to me and came out in an important time of my life, so this is very special for me.

Gal Gadot shows up in a 3-minute segment showing Tel Aviv, which I imagine is being used for ad breaks or BBC doing whatever it is they are doing when the rest of Europe sees that (or ads).

The first interval act is the promised Eurovision-artists-singing-other-artists’-songs and it showcases some interesting versions of well known songs, lots of epic crazy and a few minutes of me tearing up because even the cynical woman that I am can’t help it once in a while.”

Seems like the EBU decided there won’t be second run for Norway which serves a good reminder for what the juries vote for – songs and performance quality by the performers themselves. In the context of what the juries are expected to do, three seconds of a camera black out and shot from a different angle shouldn’t make a difference in how the juries perceive the song or their performance of it.
Spain: A million great runs of this, and Miki ended up dedicating this performance to Duncan by being flatter than the Netherlands. Ouch. There are some very upset fans over here right now.

Mini break Australia: Well, the audience and Kate had a very big shouting fight over who is louder. So basically: just like the semi final performance.

Switzerland: My main take away from this performance is that half the audience in the hall has a crush on Luca. It’s still a very cool and very red looking performance, and he kept his vocals in (relative) check.

Serbia: Focusing on what’s really important, they could never settle on exactly how they wanted the snow, fire and dust storm effects to look like, so they actually look different every time. Tonight’s combination was a new one which obstructed her from view slightly too much even though it was dramatic, so I imagine they’ll scrap that one. More importantly, though: her vocals were good, and she’s incredibly charismatic. I don’t think it works too well in that running order, though.

Italy: Delivering hardcore biting journalism straight from the press center, I can report that we’ve had a heated discussion about Mahmood’s questionable taste. Performance wise, though, it was the best I’ve seen from him, and it was helpful to see a bit of sadness instead of just anger, which made the emotional aspect of this resonate more than it did previously.

France: A strong performance from Bilal, with a bit of fragility getting into his voice at parts, which actually added a lot to this.

Azerbaijan: We had an unexpected opening when the heart decided to be projected at some of Chingiz’s other body parts instead. It made for an entertaining opening! Otherwise – the same as it always did and a cheeky smile at the end.

Belarus: Did we ever find out what her backdrop is supposed to represent? Other than that, a self-confident performance with only a few bits where it was a little too shouty, but nothing that would make a difference, really.

Estonia: Victor kept shouting the ending of his sentences at both me and the juries, usually offkey. He’s sympathetic enough to forgive some of that, but with so many strong songs still in the line up, I was hoping he’d make a more obvious effort to control that.

Iceland: Was pretty much the same as it always was, and actually works well coming after the break.

The next ad break is all about our returning artists!

United Kingdom: Nerves galore here with offkey start, lots of random runs flat parts that he didn’t have in rehearsals – which wasn’t really helped by the fact he’s not exactly charismatic. He wrapped up by going off and on the right key throughout the last part of the song. Not the performance the UK wanted to have tonight.

Norway: An obvious crowd favorite, luckily for everyone involved – as one of the cameras shortened its circuits during the performance, forcing the broadcast to switch to a different camera just to make sure there is a shot of it and causing an abrupt, even if short, of it.

Israel: A couple of dodgy notes for him with how loud the cheers were but overall strong performance of a, well, less strong song.

Another ad break so they can set up the Israeli prop.

Greece: Technology decided to eat up my Greece entry when I tried to update the page, but here I go again – it was one of their better performances overall in their two week rehearsal run, with Katerine making sure to hit her notes – albeit carefully – and the visuals feeling more cohesive than before.

Netherlands: Duncan’s vocals were as flawless as ever, and the performance is for the most part unchanged with the exception of the light ball creating a blinding effect during the peak of the song and making that moment a little bigger than it was before.

Cyprus: Much like in the jury semi, not the strongest of vocal performances, but enough for what it needed, as she came across as the pop star that she is. The hall appreciated the change of pace, too.

Slovenia: I slept 3 hours since yesterday morning and this is not helping. They were lucky to be in the semi they were in but this will have a much harder time here.

Sweden: You know that thing the human brain does where it sees what it expects to see? At this point John might have an alien invasion through the hair straightener that is actually the gateway from Mars and I’ll keep seeing the exact usual strong and charismatic performance from him. But my mind did catch some changed melody towards the end, so apparently it’s not entirely numb yet.

Ad Break in which we talk to Malta and hear subtle Grindr jokes.

North Macedonia: Speaking of contrasts – Tamara after Serhat. It’s almost like the production is telling her, well, we had you after the Netherlands in the semi, so let’s be really nice to you and put you after *this*.

San Marino: The things I do for love (of Eurovision). I really wanted to go the bathroom and normally I’d use this time to do so, but I sat here instead to report on his Serhat Vocals. Apparently his solution for attempting to not go offkey by going above it was going offkey below it about 3 seconds in and never finding the key – or any key – again.

Denmark: Leonora’s voice has definitely reached the overuse boundary, but she kept it together well and actually managed to come across as a bit more mellow than she often does.

Russia: Being 5th might sound like a bad position for Russia, but they do come in after Germany, so the contrast is very stark. The staging is as same as always, but Sergey has a different vocal melody towards the end, a special gift for the juries!

Germany: They are so nice I feel bad writing anything bad about them, but there’s really not much to write about there. They sing it really well, though, but there’s very little there to sustain attention.

Czech Republic: I’m not sure how effective this can be so early in the line up, but it does work well after Albania. I’m also a bit envious of Albert of being able to sustain the same level of energy in every single take they had done.

Albania: Having been great vocally through rehearsals, Jonida ended up being off in both the jury semi and the broadcast – moreso in the latter. She was sounded way better this time around, but ended up with an odd I-could-not-be-bothered-to-be-here-anymore stare. Oops.

Malta: They’ve had a busy few days adjusting and readjusting their performance, but Michela finally got a familiar enough routine which allowed her to be a bit more relaxed on stage, and that was reflected in her vocals as well. It’s a great opener.

Opening: Well, well. Oh My God. This is all sorts of bonkers and epic and fun, and I’m sure a lot of people will spoil you, but not me. Too good to ruin.

We continue with another quick montage of different hots opening the show over the years before our hosts do the usual “this is how things work” speech.