Portugal: Conan Osiris – Telemóveis

Martin: As a blogger and a gambler, it’s in my interest to take in as wide a range of opinions as possible. But we all inevitably inhabit our own particular corner of the fan universe, and as such, it’s hard for me to judge whether there’s really any wider enthusiasm for “Telemóveis” or whether it’s just the people around me who seem enamoured.

In any case, I don’t quite get it. I absolutely admire Portugal for having the bravery to send something so left-field and “out there” to the contest – why not, really, when you’ve won the thing so recently? And it’s great that it seems to be a big local hit, because that’s what ESC needs. But all I see here is what I expect the wider European audience will see, too – a strange man with spoons on his face, warbling randomly over an atonal backing track.

I imagine there’s meant to be some kind of clever social commentary behind the mobile phone-themed lyrics, just like Francesco Gabbani mansplained his way through some fairly bloody obvious insights about the human condition two years ago. And perhaps they’ll find a way to visualise it (ideally not involving a dancing primate) that makes the whole thing click with me. But for now, this particular phone has no reception.

Felix: Oh god, Portugal. Oh god, “Telemóveis”. How can they dare to send something like this? Well, they absolutely can! And as such, I celebrate it as a monument to the free Europe. That’s all. For my taste, it’s really bad. But it will still be remembered in 2069. What would ESC 2019 be without this one?

Shi: I don’t mind this. I also don’t get this. Or why there are people who think this can do really well. I guess it will get some of that “OMG THIS IS WHY WE WATCH EUROVISION!” vote, but then there’s also Iceland and Australia (and San Marino?) if you want that kind of thing.

video and title image source: eurovision.tv