Congratulations! The first days of rehearsals have arrived, bringing with them one of my favorite annual traditions: waking up in my San Francisco time zone, reading all the comments everywhere in an attempt to find out whose glass didn’t break today, and then actually going to hunt out the rehearsal material (first rehearsals, so: not much just yet) and comparing it not only to my pre-rehearsal expectations, but also to my post-forum-hysteria expectations.

It’s funny how, for all we talk about first rehearsals being just that and remind ourselves of the purpose they serve (stage placing, meet singer! Singer, meet stage placing and your camera eyeline!), it can still be really hard to not react – and let’s admit it, overreact – to pretty much every little detail, because seriously, what else do you expect us to do between now and the first semi? The first few days of rehearsals often feel like their own sub-competition, also dubbed ESC (Eurovision Staging Contest), where our brains forget all the other things they know about the songs, the artists, the line-up in general, and concentrate solely on who staged their performance better today.

Either way, in my pre-party post I wrote that my hope for this year is to be surprised, so I suppose the question is: Were there any surprises in store for me on the first rehearsal day?

The short answer is “none whatsoever”. The long answer is this post. This is your coffee and pastry alert. Get stocked up and settle in for the ride.

1. Azerbaijan
If the Eurovision Staging Contest was an actual thing, Azerbaijan would be a multiple title holder by now. Watching that little rehearsal snippet is enough proof that Azerbaijan was the obvious opener to semi 1 not only musically, but as a whole: Even if we had no clue what the song was and we saw this video, I don’t think there’s anyone here whose first thought would be anything other than “oh! This looks totally Eurovision!”. And I wouldn’t expect any less from the team behind it. The one thing I am confused about is whether Fokas Evenagelinos is trying to make this look as Greek as possible so he can secretly self-sabotage the entry and have voters who like this get confused and vote for Greece instead, or whether he’s trying to steal the Greek staging thunder (you know it’s going to be blue and white, don’t you?).

This Is Love (Eurovision.tv / Thomas Hanses)

2. Iceland
Iceland has a blue backdrop! That changes to red! For a ballad! At Eurovision! Inconceivable! They also have some very unfortunate fashion choices, even more unfortunate color choices for those unfortunate fashion choices, and none of this will have any impact whatsoever on their result in this semi-final or how many points they’ll actually get. But hey – Iceland, you made it to the World Cup, which is more than most of the participants in this semi can say. You can’t have it all!

Allez Ola Olé (Eurovision.tv / Thomas Hanses)

3. Albania
In sharp contrast, the Albanian stage is… also blue and red. Which I suppose is entirely appropriate, considering I’ve always felt like the Albanian song could totally be an Icelandic one. (It sounds a bit runic, no?) But coming after Iceland, looking like Iceland and without a musical identity that really sets it apart from what preceded it is doing it no favors. Also, if I were to start a drinking game in which you take a drink every time we hit a country that has clearly left its staging entirely up to the show directors, now would be a good time to pour your first shot.

This is the sound of our hearts (Eurovision.tv / Thomas Hanses)

4. Belgium
One has to wonder whether the people responsible for the staging of this entry have spent a good chunk of their time surfing fan forums and reading fan speculations and suggestions, really taking to heart the repeated claim that they need to create a fittingly dark atmosphere. They might, however, have gone slightly too literal on this front, since they seem to have just hidden Sennek in the darkness (with a colour scheme ranging from dark blue to black – you know, for a bit of variety). To make absolutely sure we noticed the dark theme, she also wears a black dress that even Blanche wouldn’t have considered. Now, I know Sennek is not the most engaging of performers, but I am not entirely sure that inviting the viewers to play a game of “Where’s Sennek?” is the best distraction strategy here.

All alone in the danger zone (Eurovision.tv / Thomas Hanses)

5. Czech Republic
My initial comments for this were somewhere in the neighborhood of this being what it always was and what I assumed it is going to be, and I wanted to at least thank him for introducing a whole new stage color. Then he went and got himself injured, so first of all, I can only wish him a speedy recovery and hope that it is a minor injury. On a practical level, this might force the Czech delegation to adjust or change their staging plans, medical clearance pending, so at this point there’s even less to take away from this than anything else we’ve seen.

Hold On Be Strong (Eurovision.tv / Thomas Hanses)

6. Lithuania
I counted three different colors in the photos of this rehearsal (red, blue and yellow – primary color triad galore!) and got very excited because I am a geek. I also got mildly intrigued by the staging of this, because out of all the songs in this part of the semi at least, Lithuania is the only one that really tells a story. While the song in itself might struggle to stand out, the Lithuanians are maximizing what they can get out of it by taking advantage of a thematically structured storyline flow and a relatable performer.

Out on My Own (Eurovision.tv / Anders Putting)

7. Israel
Nothing says “first day of rehearsals” more than reading five thousand hysterical comments about a rehearsal (particularly when it’s a favorite) and then watching the actual rehearsal and seeing it is pretty much what you expected it to be. One of the main complaints I’ve seen about Israel is that the color choices are too dark and too boring – but while I also expected a much lighter staging, in part because of the video clip, I didn’t take into account that this stage is not very good at not being dark. Also, if you watch the clips in succession, this is actually the first injection of color into the line-up, and isn’t that exactly what we already felt about “Toy” musically? Another worry I’ve encountered in the Israeli groups (granted, they worry about everything – big shock, but still) is that having a Japanese staging concept will alienate European viewers. A Japanese staging concept? In a song with chicken sounds that are partly made of the Japanese word for a coward and that namechecks Pikachu? I think we can probably give the viewers enough credit to make the link, don’t you?

Come on and rise up! (Eurovision.tv / Anders Putting)

8. Belarus
From the country that brought you a giant disco ball, digital wolves and Angelica Agurbash, please raise your hands and give a round of applause for Alekseev! True to the ancient Eurovision proverb “when in doubt, throw the kitchen sink at it”, Belarus have gone the extra mile and brought along an extra bathtub for luck.

Having read a few reports from the full rehearsal, there’s a lot more that can be written about this, but I don’t want to spoil myself the experience of watching my first full video of this joyful occasion.

Hold me, just unfold me (Eurovision.tv / Anders Putting)

9. Estonia
All this drama and effort about the dress and projectors and all you have for me is a red and blue staging? Really? This is essentially a slightly super-sized version of the national final performance (budget issues, after all) with a slightly nicer variety of projections. If you already thought that this is a winning candidate, there’s no reason for you to stop thinking that. If you thought “sure, the dress is very nice, but no dress can save the song from not having an actual melody”, by all means keep thinking that too (and save me a seat, I’ll join you as soon as I’m done writing Bulgaria).

Together like the stars in the sky (Eurovision.tv / Anders Putting)

10. Bulgaria
Of all the countries rehearsing today, Bulgaria was the one that succeeded the most in staging their song as closely as possible to their music video. Of course, it would have been more helpful if that didn’t mean standing statically in the dark looking like you are auditioning for a low-budget Bulgarian rip-off of Suicide Squad. Basically, this is exactly what it always was, and if you already believed that this can win the whole thing, there’s nothing I can do for you.

Have my skeletons (Eurovision.tv / Anders Putting)

Three important questions as we head into the second day of rehearsals, then: Can this stage do fluffy pastel clouds? Will Cyprus overshadow the interval act? And will I ever remember Croatia is taking part this year without looking at the running order first?